ISIS and the Social Media Threat

This week the world has been horrified to find ISIS in the very place they hold most dear, social media. They have been taking over Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, causing millions to run and panic, just from opening their YouTube app. As the ISIS social media campaign has accelerated in recent weeks, Obama has called for arming social media rebels to fight this new threat. The rebels, a group called trolls, post charged comments on controversial media or news articles, resulting in an endless war. Usually, these comment wars lead to frustration, low self esteem, and suicidal thoughts, to those involved. Arming this group to fight on social media, Obama hopes, would result in a very demoralized and piddly squat social media effort from ISIS in the future. This call has been met with criticism by some in Congress, who argue that trolls can't be trusted and that it's very possible for these rebels to use the weapons to be supplied against the US in the future. Another issue some in Congress have, is picking the right rebels to support. Many of these rebels are fighting their own battles, and some don't line up with American values. For instance, HateKatiePerry, on YouTube is dedicated to the destruction of Katie Perry on the web. Katie Perry's support for Obama no doubt lead to a majority of the 18-24 female voting for him. An Obama press release indicated that people like him would not be part of the operation.

 John McCain, when questioned about which rebels to arm, responded that he knew them "very well", and could tell "at a glance" who would make a good social media rebel. Quote, "there are two groups we have to choose from. The hipster, Hillary supporting crowd, and the live-in-the-basement group. We obviously should go with the basement group, the usually have passed high school, are armed with water cooled gaming PCs, are unrelenting, staying up all hours of the night just to close out one debate, the only problem is that they're not patriotic. But you know, I think we can work on that. I spent a night over at Kevin's house playing World Of Warcraft and we had the best time. Reminded me of seeing Sarah Palin for the first time, both of them were true patriots. Bush came over for a few hours, and he confided in me later, that he had looked into Kevin's eyes, and caught a glimpse of his soul. He like what he saw apparently. I mean, how can you argue with such an intellect!"

This morning however, the debate has all but ended as the ISIS hashtag #americasucks reached viral status. Many in the opposition camp to Obama's policy changed their position in support of the measure. A vote in the House and Senate to provide these social media rebels with coffee, Twinkies, Mac books, free broadband, and a full 4 monitor workspace is expected to pass this week. Some on the right in Congress are calling for more training and heavy weapons to be supplied to the rebels. Namely, how to use the name of Jesus Christ to repel the enemy, and the supply of Bibles to effectively convert ISIS militants. Rick Perry released this statement to the press today, "It's my personal belief that if the rebels are correctly instructed on how to use the Lord's name in an effective way to combat the ISIS threat online, that he will indeed intervene and that their weapons will fail, their hard drives will crash, their WI-Fi will cease to work, and their motherboards will fry."